8th March 08
6.00pm

Here I am at church again.

Religion is such a funny thing.
Everyone thinks they are right, and some of us somewhere have to be wrong. This makes me seem skeptical, but right now I’m not. Right now I’m hopeful.

Here stands all this creation around me. A small island in the Caribbean — with sugar cane fields and swaying trees and a rugged east coast that makes you feel as though its been there forever, shifting, changing, growing grass on the hills and rolling rocks along the coast. And this little Bimshire is only a speck on the globe.

For all this creation there’s a creator. How exactly we relate to each other, I admit, is often a struggle. Having a conversation with a creator that has made things so vast and detailed that I can’t wrap my mind around the creation, matter of fact it’s maker —I find that amazing.

Standing in a room listening to music and clapping along with others sometimes feels right — other times it seems stale. Like going to the same movie over and over on a date. We box in this relationship, this creation-to-creator relationship. We make it static to contain it, to fit it into our Monday through Saturday schedule. 40 minutes singing Saturday night, 30 minutes preaching, cell group Thursdays.

But worship is living right? And I don’t live only in these 40 minutes of music I don’t really like and have heard too much. I live those nights I don’t want to. I live in those moments I get to spend laughing with others. I live listening to good music, reading a good book, looking at good art. I live lying down alone tossing and turning in my thoughts. And here I am, the creation, pushing forward though time, leaving the last minute behind and creating a new one — most of which I’ll forget.

And the creator?

They say he’s here. And I think for the most part I believe that, but I want a real-ness. Maybe they’d say that’s asking too much, or that comes with singing songs in rooms with people dressed up pretty. But how about here? In a dim lit room, alone, with a pen, a book and thoughts.

Creator? Hi, my name’s Tiffany.
How are you?